Attaining Awesome

Anyone can be awesome, you have to define what awesome is for yourself.

If, when the sun finally sets on my father's farming career, he can look back on it all with satisfaction. If he can say he accomplished what he intended to and is happy with the direction the farm is (hopefully) headed with the next generation; if my presence there in any way contributes to his overall satisfaction in what he has achieved, I will be 1/3 awesome.

If my children grow up to be confident, capable human beings who learn to attain awesome regardless of the challenge. If they work to achieve it in spite of their own failings, if they learn how to achieve it BECAUSE of their own failings; I will be 2/3 awesome.

If, somehow, in the midst of all this, I manage to find a true direction, some talent that is purely mine, and become a success (the measure of that will be determined later) in my own right; I will be totally awesome!

How will you attain awesome?

Shower, please!

It is spring and as the grass gets progressively thicker, so do the dates on my family calendar. This week, I have a meeting, appointment or extra-curricular activity marked on every single day of the week, a relatively new occurrence. Babies don’t play t-ball or need to be registered for Kindergarten! So another aspect of this new phase of my life is beginning. However, I refuse to put a “Mom’s Taxi” sign in the window of my car!

After spending years at home with little ones, it was incredibly refreshing to begin working at the farm. Grown up voices began to replace the indelible strains of Dora the Explorer and the continual loop of alphabets, shapes and colors were replaced with discussions of politics, newspaper articles, and soap opera recaps and predictions. My brain had spent five years existing on what amounts to mental Fruit Loops and suddenly it is savoring thoughts as sophisticated as dark chocolate!

Like a parched throat gulps water, I thirst for adult conversation. I also chatter like a mad squirrel! It’s good to hear my grown up voice using big person words – hey, I AM still in here! That’s a relief! I leave the barn feeling refreshed and ready to be mommy again.

Then Facebook came into my world. Now there is grown up talking and the intelligent thoughts of people I know and can relate to right at my fingertips… OOOOOHHHHHH that is addicting! So this is who I chat with every morning over coffee – and what a wealth of different personalities to choose from, too! 111 of my favorite people, and they never fail to disappoint with their wit, candor and informational posts. If you have a Facebook account, you can almost skip the news. You will find sports scores for your favorite teams, the details on the latest legislation congress is working on, the passing of whatever actor just OD’d, you name it!

When I first logged on, I feared Facebook would amount to little more than a huge time suck! Guess what? It is! I spend too much time on it. But spring is going to force me to cut back. Mom’s going to have to start spending her mornings preparing for the afternoon activities or my children will not get to bed at a time conducive to waking up happy and ready to board the bus in the AM.

As if getting everyone off the bus and ready to go to their respective after school destinations on time isn’t enough of a magic act, I have one other little thing that heightens the degree of difficulty: I must shower before we go!

I am not being a diva here, at all. This is for the public good! Because after spending the afternoon in my most favorite place, I do not smell like anything that blends well in a ballet studio, school or doctor’s office! I love all the great smells on the farm (diesel, silage and boot disinfectant are truly among my faves!) But putting them in any sort of enclosed setting is just wrong… and other people are not nearly as appreciative of those smells as I!

So my shower time begins as an act of public service. Then, as I savor the smells of shea butter and coconut, my shower becomes another time suck. Ooops! I set timers for my kids so they get fair turns playing computer games and their teeth have quality time with their toothbrushes daily. Now the kids are going to have to start using the timer on me! Thank goodness my son is in t-ball – I am much less toxic to the noses of my fellow moms in open-air environments! Luckily, the calendar is full, so I’ll get lots of practice. I’m hoping by the end of May, I’ll have this daily kiddo karting down to a science.

Dueling Divas

So Ms Opal needed a little more R&R than could be found in the confines of the barn. She has stopped making milk and is lounging in the grass outside the barn. The swelling in her leg has gone down considerably, and she is eating well. She hasn’t gotten up in a few days but the consensus seems to be that it is less an issue of ‘can’t’ and more an issue of ‘don’t want to’.

So we carry hay, TMR and water to her throughout the day - who’s the diva now?

Ummmm, I’m thinking that is still probably me.

Gentlemen, you may want to check out of this piece right now, I am about to go girlie on you!

Because it wasn’t too long ago I began going to the barn with a face full of makeup, nearly every day. Ok, so I’m not exactly dressing up to go to the barn. It’s more like this weird little painting exercise that is creeping it’s way into my morning routine.

I get up, get the kids breakfast and one on the bus, do a little yoga, and go get dressed and wash my face. Skin feels tight, so a little tinted moisturizer feels pretty good! A little while later will surely find me wandering in the bathroom for one thing or another, at which point I notice the dark circles that have decided to permanently befriend my eyes these days. Sooo we dot on a little concealer. Oooh! That’s better!

My son gets on the bus and by late morning I believe it just becomes a creative outlet. Here is a box FULL of color, placed in the hands of a girl who LOVES to color with her kids – they are at school and I REALLY should be cleaning! But who can resist! Sweep on some pretty apricot blush, whatever color eye shadow I find appealing at the moment… then we must outline with the fun pencils and mascara! Nice!

I never spent this kind of time “coloring” when my kids were home all day. Did I even get dressed? Sure! In my husband’s sweats, usually. I have to laugh when I now find myself deciding which pair of barn jeans will look best with the old t-shirt I have chosen for the day. My favorite place to shop for clothes is Tractor Supply Company. Even better is when I actually get compliments on my TSC jeans (because you NEVER wear a brand new pair directly to the barn. Unless they are overalls, they start out as good clothes!) My girlfriends are usually surprised when I tell them where I bought them.

So barn fashion is now an upgrade from the old mommy wear. No wonder I feel like a diva! Work boots are shoes WITH HEELS… Fancy stuff, I’m telling you! Step aside, Opal, the afternoon shift just strutted in…

Cubes and Cows

Ever done any jail time? While I do not have a criminal record (as long as speeding tickets and fines for talking on my cell do not count…) I do feel like I have done a little time. The bars were hidden by thick, slightly padded and upholstered sides. When I was in there, I saw no windows. It was quiet all the time and the most important things to do while you were there were to be quiet, look presentable and agree with whoever was pulling your strings at the time.

Nope, it wasn’t an insane asylum either (though I’m sure there are a few who believe I would benefit greatly from one!) It was a cubicle in a corporate office!

The paycheck was great and I learned things I probably wouldn’t have learned at my previous job at the newspaper. Aside from the backstabbing, gossip and passing blame to the nearest peon, I did learn more about page layout and the programs I do that on.

Going to work there every day gave me a really good idea what church would be like if you took the part about it being spiritually uplifting out. You know, get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes, and go in happy - until you get there. Then keep your mouth shut and listen from 8-5. Do your job, DO NOT make a mistake! Because if you do, The Big Guy is gonna make you pay!!!

Because I worked there during the time when the corporation was nose-diving into it’s own demise, it felt like a daily game of Survivor. Layoffs were happening on an increasingly frequent basis and even the slightest misstep put you further down the path to YOUR demise. It was incredibly frustrating for me to be there. More so because it seemed ridiculous to me to have such a life or death attitude about sales fliers for lawn mowers, string trimmers and birdseed. I mean, REALLY! We are not printing copies of the Bible, here! Of course, mistakes cost money, I do get that. But people are human and they do make mistakes! That is why the words “correction” and “reprint” were invented!

Fiscally speaking, having grown up where I did, I am more about having Enough money, than stepping all over people to ensure I have Way More than Enough. I am about seeing the value in everything and everyone around you, not depreciating their self worth by cutting them down. I am about doing and making things that MATTER! So to freak out about a lawnmower price being printed $100 less than it was supposed to be that week (because it was more than likely on sale for that much the next week anyway...) and threaten someone’s job over it? Stupid! Get a grip! I really did not have the right attitude to attempt to climb any corporate ladder with to be certain…

I turned into a road raging lunatic every day after work. You could not get me away from that place fast enough! The day the tribe decided to snuff out my torch was really not a very bad day. I was a month away from delivering my beautiful daughter and had more to look forward to than to feel bad about. My new career would be much more gratifying than the old. Shaping this new little life, molding her into a confident, happy, self-fulfilled young person… yup, that is a job that matters!

The same is true about working at the farm. We are making something that matters there! People live on this stuff! My husband’s aunt said, at one point, her family went through seven gallons of milk a week! Holy Smoke! Kids grow on what we make every day. The bottom line is always a concern, because you have to be able to pay the bills – and sometimes the income really isn’t enough to do that. OK, a lot of times the income really isn’t enough to do that! So part of the reason people come back to this line of work day after day has to be the knowledge that people are living and growing on the milk we are producing.

I went back to the barn last night after getting home from our trip. So glad to be back! What I appreciated the most was the movement. You definitely don’t get that sitting in a cube all day! Once you start milking, you fall into a rhythm of walking from cow to cow to prep them, (cleaning them off and checking the quality of the milk), then walking back and forth to move the milkers from one cow to the next, then walking back to each one to post-dip (an iodine solution that seals the teats and helps keep bacteria out). Step, step, step, down, up, step, step, step over and over from one end of the barn to the next! In and out between the cows, sometimes stopping to baby one. The speed changes as you go from cows that milk faster, to cows that milk slower; but you rarely stop. I love it!

All that walking day after day on hard cement does not appear to be very good for feet and knees. But it is great for the soul! The only true politics in the barn revolve around discussion of ACTUAL politics. Gossip is usually light hearted and not malicious. Because I don’t milk with the same person every shift, you get new info and different perspective every day. How cool is that?

Some day soon, the kids will be old enough to get off the bus and be at home alone for a little while until someone gets home from work. I hope when that day comes, I have figured out a rewarding career that allows me to keep milking cows. I am just not made to do hard time!

Sooo Not Farming!

This weekend, my husband and I have brought the kids to Southern Ohio to visit their grandparents and the rest of their dad’s side of the family.

I am always struck by the social differences between how my husband and I were raised, and how we parent our children as a result. Since we are going to see his family, I consider this his trip. We do what he wants, when he wants. We are polar opposite and equally stubborn, so compromise is impossible! The only thing that works is for one or the other to simply give in on whatever subjects mean the least to that person.

So this is not my trip. I packed the kids and myself, and my husband is in charge of the rest. From the moment we get in the car, it is a different trip entirely than if it were just the kids and myself. The car is totally wired up! Portable DVD player installed between the front seats so the kids can watch movies the entire six-hour drive. A box stocked with chips, popcorn, cereals and a couple bottles of water is right at their feet.

The front seat hosts an AC power inverter so I can run my laptop the entire trip.

On one hand, this is bliss! Children who are quiet and entertained for six hours? When in life does this ever happen other than this? All this time stuck in a car means I am exempt from dishes, laundry, house cleaning and the endless and futile attempts to clean up the trail of toys that meanders its way continuously through our home! I have the impression that stay-at-home moms are expected to relish and cherish these tasks, because we are so fortunate to be ABLE to stay home to raise our children…

Though I work part-time at the farm and pick up design jobs whenever they present themselves, I do still consider myself a stay-at-home mom. And I do feel fortunate that I was there for every first and still get to be the one who gets them off the bus after school. You don’t ever get that time back. These are the moments these future adults will one day look back on and evaluate what worked for them, what didn’t, and what they will do differently in their own lives. It’s a big deal! I am glad to be the one who gets to be there. I don’t celebrate it every day; but at the end of the day, I couldn’t stand to let anyone else have this time with my kids.

The housework, however, I can do without! There is NOTHING more mundane and ENDLESS than housework! Clean the kitchen so you can make another meal and trash it again so you have to clean it AGAIN. It’s like being Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, except some days you are starting over three times in one day! ARGH!

So, for the weekend, I am excused! Hooray! And thanks, hubby! Because the kids are quiet too and, while you are driving, I can spend a large amount of time thinking grownup thoughts and pondering if technology is contributing to the breakdown of the modern family.

That is what I am wondering here. We are all wired up, plugged in, totally entertained, and completely tuned out. Is this a good thing? For me, heck yeah! Mommy needs a B.R.E.A.K! But what about the kids? They are staring at the middle of the car into a screen playing a movie they have seen at least as many times as they have zipped their own coats successfully. And while they are looking in, they are not looking out! They are not seeing the towns that are so different from their own. They aren’t looking at all the different kinds of cars, different license plates, different people doing different things inside those cars!

And they are not bored, either. Which means they are not thinking of ways to entertain themselves. They are not working the creative sides of their brains. It’s a missed opportunity.

They are also not fighting. Which means they are not learning how to stand up for themselves. Not learning how to negotiate or solve their own problems.

And in the close confines of this car, maybe they wouldn’t be getting that even if they weren’t plugged in. Because mom and dad get annoyed and don’t want to answer ONE MORE QUESTION about when we are going to get there or feel compelled to referee ONE MORE FIGHT! Is there anything to be gained by ending a six-hour drive with everyone frustrated with each other?

If you are in the right frame of mind, probably. But if you’re too unfocused or too negative to look for the teachable moments, it probably just gets stored away as a bad memory. So this time, this trip; we’re doing things the Dad Way. Mommy is experiencing the teachable moment: how to stop obsessing and LET GO!

I’m thinking the positive side of this is that my kids are being raised with knowledge of two different lifestyles. Being a part of the farm and living in a very rural setting affords them plenty of opportunity to use their imaginations and play (and fight!) together. They see my family working together to get things done, not always getting along, but always doing our best to respect each other and keep the big picture in view.

Daddy and their travels and adventures in Ohio will give them the opportunity to see what can be achieved when the world is right outside your door! That there is more to the world than open fields and cows. If one thing doesn’t work for you, can you spread your wings and explore other places and lifestyles, because your options are absolutely endless!

OK, so I am good with this. Plug me in, big daddy! We are two very different parents, and we have two very lucky kids because we are so different.

A Different Kind of Morning

Wednesday was my sister-in-law’s birthday. Once spring arrives, my brother and his wife get very little quality time together. A typical day for him begins around 5AM with milking and from there he goes straight to the fields where he works until dark. It doesn’t end there. If he doesn’t simply turn on the headlights and keep working, four nights a week, he is back in the barn at 9PM for night milking. Once warm weather hits, the average day for my brother is often 18 hours long. His only “weekend” or “holiday” comes in the form of a rainstorm, and if there are too many of those they are more stressful to him than his 120-hour workweek!

My dad decided he wanted to give his daughter-in-law her husband, for her birthday. He asked me to milk Wednesday morning so my brother could spend the morning with his wife. Fortunately, my husband was off work, so I was able to do this.

Typically, I am not a morning person. But there is something about starting my day before most people are awake that I am beginning to find oddly appealing! I went to bed early the night before (a luxury my brother rarely enjoys) so I would be ready to get up at 4AM. The house is so blissfully quiet before the kids, dogs and husband are up and around! I do yoga every day, so this is how I started my morning, with breath and stretching. Again, I must say, far more meditative while the house is quiet! I got dressed, had yogurt and water for breakfast, grabbed my flashlight and headed over to the barn just before 5, wide awake and ready to go!

Chores begin in the morning as they do in the afternoon and at night. Start the wash cycle to sanitize the milkers, and then out to the main part of the barn to clean up the platforms of the calves and the cows. As I am scraping, it is also my job to quickly survey each animal. First thing I look at is manure quality. This is especially important with the young calves. Runny manure, or scours, can indicate any number of illnesses. Just like with young children, young calves can get dehydrated and seriously ill in a matter of hours. We handle scours right away with a “cocktail” of vitamins and electrolytes.

In the cows, it is important to watch for reproductive information. Vaginal discharge can indicate what stage of estrous a cow is in. A few months after a cow calves, it is important to get her bred again. Dairy cows only make milk after they have given birth, and calves are the future of the herd! So to keep a cow milking, she has to have babies. So we look for signs of heat, missed heat or (this is rare) lost pregnancy.

While one person is cleaning at the back of the cow, another is working on what goes in the front end! This morning, it is my dad who is pushing feed back into the manger. As he does this, he is looking at the cow’s eyes and how much feed is left in front of each cow, more quick indicators of health. 64 pairs of bright alert eyes and fairly empty mangers are what we want to see. Once the mangers are pushed in, dad will drive the feed cart around and deliver fresh TMR (a custom mix of feed formulated by a nutritionist just for our herd) to the girls.

I go to the milk house and get out all the supplies we need to milk and within a half an hour of arriving to work, we are ready to get down to business. Milking 64 cows takes about an hour and a half; but there is much more to do in the morning! After milking we again clean all the milking equipment. Then we clean the barn. Mangers are completely emptied and old feed is replaced with fresh. The cows are let out and their stalls are cleaned out and re-bedded as are the calving and calf pens. Then the cows are let back in and the barn floor is scraped down.

This morning is even longer than that because we have a visit from one of our veterinarians. He comes about every two weeks and examines select cows to determine pregnancy and also addresses other health concerns we have about any other animals in the herd.

Today he finds my Onyx is pregnant! He also looks at Opal. He determines she has a hematoma. When she fell, Opal ruptured a blood vessel, which has caused her swelling and lameness. We are to continue our current course of action and hope for the best. I will certainly keep my fingers crossed. Opal made no milk this morning at all. She is not currently pregnant, so if her milk dries up, her place in the herd may be at risk.

It is 10:30 before I head home. Time to take care of my kids, do some dishes and prepare lunch before I am back at the barn for my usual shift at 1PM.

It’s been a good day already. My brother and his wife came to the barn at about 8 AM to do the cleaning and feeding chores. They were both appreciative of their morning together and in good spirits. It strikes me how much people take time for granted. Most of us have days off every week and we waste them in front of the TV or playing video games.

We take for granted the people we live with because we have time with them. But when you don’t, when you’re only seeing each other long enough to say hello before you crash out of total exhaustion, you realize what you have, and what you are missing. My brother and his wife have a great love and deep appreciation of each other, a rare thing in this world. It pleased me to be able to help my dad give them these few extra hours together, because I know how hard they are both working, and that they would spend this time well. They would spend it enjoying each other and their kids.

Opal

Today we have a little situation. Actually, we’ve had a little situation for a few days!

Within the herd, I personally own six cows. Lilly is the oldest at nine years; followed by six-year-old Sweetie; Onyx and Opal, my five-year-old twins; and two-year-olds Lively and Silky. Friday of last week, Opal fell while walking out to the pasture. This happens from time to time. Though the concrete floor of the barn is grooved to prevent slipping, cows (like children!) get in a hurry to get outside and push each other out the door or simply start moving too fast and slip. This is what happened to Opal.

Ordinarily, this would not be a very big deal. Cows slip, get up and keep going, just like people. But sometimes, just like people, you land wrong or you stretch too far. That is what happened to Opal! My poor baby’s leg is swollen from top to bottom. And I do mean SWOLLEN! As if one of the “America’s Next Top Model” contestants just got retrofitted with a leg from one of “The Biggest Loser” contenders – at the beginning of the season… Major ouch!

So everyone is doing what they can to help poor Miss Opal. She has been moved from her smaller stall (next to her twin), to a larger stall at the front of the barn. We hope that will give her a more room to maneuver so she can get up and down a little easier as she recovers. Medication has to be chosen with great care. It’s not just about Opal! She is a milking cow and her milk is being shipped for human consumption. Since her injury, she is only making about 15 pounds a day (just shy of four gallons, a far cry from the 86 pounds a day she was making before! Mixed in with the other 5,000 pounds of milk we ship daily, her milk doesn’t amount to much at the moment.

Still, we have to be careful what medications we use on her, so as not to contaminate her milk. We can give her an anti-inflammatory safely, so we are doing that. I also rub her leg with a peppermint oil rub, sort of like Icy-Hot. Because it is topical, we don’t have to worry about it contaminating the milk, so it has become our go-to treatment for everything from bumps and bruises to a first course of treatment for mastitis (an infection of the mammary glands). I love to rub the cows down with this stuff! It smells great to me and, sometimes I think just having the extra attention boosts the girls enough they get over their ailments. Who doesn’t love a little “poor baby” treatment when they feel bad?

Man, where’s my mint rub?

It would seem Opal’s swelling is beginning to go down. My dad is watching her with his ever-scrutinizing eye, continually. She is still uncomfortable, and she misses her sister, Onyx. And Onyx misses her! The first day they were separated, Onyx spent the entire afternoon shift mooing to Opal. She looks into Opal’s empty stall, then looks to me with those petal soft, questioning eyes. Every chance I get; I walk in the empty stall and scrub Onyx’s head and neck. “What is it, baby? I know, you miss your sister! But she’ll be better soon and you’ll have her back, promise!” They are so sweet! I’m sure people don’t think cows communicate; but we see it every day.

Of the twins, Opal is the more timid of the two. She doesn’t usually let me love on her as Onyx does. But she is in pain and she realizes we are trying to help her. At the end of my afternoon shift, I give her some extra hay. Hay seems to be THE miracle feed for cows! Extra hay to a cow must be equal to dark chocolate for a human, suddenly a timid cow is VERY happy to see you! Calf grain has a similar effect, but nutritionally isn’t as useful to a grown cow as hay. Not only do they love the hay, but it really seems to perk them up when they are sick with anything from a stomach ailment - to a swollen leg. After only a few days, Opal has come to watch for me and the hay I will bring her at the end of my shift. There are few things I like better than a spoiled cow!

This may end up being a win-win! Opal gets better, and returns to her sister healthy, strong, and a little more outgoing. If you’re going to make it in farming, you have to have a positive attitude. There is NO thought of Opal not recovering!

This is Me

With the exception of weekends and vacation days, I get up at 6 AM (ok, the alarm goes off at 6, I get up at 6:30), put my children on their respective school buses at 7 and 11, clean my house a little, and go off to work. Once I am there, I am greeted by 64 beautiful black and white faces, as well as a host of babies ranging in age from newborn to about six months old. I turn on the wash cycle, then return to those faces to clean their platforms and get my shift in their home going.

I work at my family dairy farm, and it is the best job I have ever had! I have been a news reporter, copy editor and graphic designer. I still do some of that. But the best part of my day comes when I lace up my work boots, walk across a field to the farm, and shovel – yeah, THAT stuff.

The farm I go to six days a week is about 30 years old; but my family has been a part of the dairy industry for four generations! One of the great parts of being there is watching the fifth generation growing up, and into, this legacy. Between my brother’s family and mine, there are seven children, ranging in age from 21 years to four months old. Four of them show interest in the various areas of the farm. It is my fervent hope there will still be a farm for them to carry forward by the time my brother and I would be ready to pass it to them.

Our farm is quite small. We milk 64 cows. It is a tie stall operation, which means each cow has her own stall. They are let out into a pasture every morning for exercise while their stalls are cleaned and the bedding replaced. Interestingly, we bed them mainly with shredded paper! We get local newspapers, magazines, phone books and other recyclable paper; and my dad shreds it up in a bale shredder, which then blows the paper into the stalls. It is cleaner and much less dusty than sawdust, and more absorbent than straw. It is also endlessly amusing to smell the scent of perfume samples and find pieces of Maxim models under our girls! Cows have laid (and pooped!) on Heidi Klum…

Each cow has her own name. Typically her name starts with the same first initial as her mother. That way we can trace her family history in our minds while we are working. Our cows are registered, which means they have an official pedigree (like an AKC dog or thoroughbred horse). Some of our cows have a richer family history than we do! We not only know who their parents, grandparents and on were; we also know how much milk they made, the quality of the animal itself and the quality of the milk!

The cows are very used to their routine. Most know their names and which stall in the barn is theirs. It changes from time to time. Each cow has a little “vacation”, the time varies but is ideally around two months, where she is turned out to pasture and doesn’t milk. This happens just before she is about to have a calf. Once she calves, her milk returns and she goes back into the barn. Sometimes her stall is changed; but they usually catch on to their new digs quickly.

Like people, cows have different personalities and levels of intelligence. We have favorites, and not so favorites. We have good days, and bad. But everyone who works at our farm is there because they want to be. Because we love what we do. Because we realize it is an honor and a privilege to work as a family, side by side. Because we take pride in creating a high quality food product for the people in this country.

Well, we used to. The sentiment around the farm is changing. It’s not just an economical issue. It’s this growing feeling that the people in this country do not support us. The negativity and criticism about how we care for our animals and produce our milk. The age-old stigma that farmers are stupid and boring. The weight of this farm will soon be passed to the shoulders of my generation, and we are wondering if we want it. Not because we mind the work, not because we don’t enjoy what we do; but because we wonder if we will be the generation to watch government and society destroy the very thing that four generations of us have put our life’s blood into culturing, nurturing and improving. Who would want to watch that?

I think I will set all that aside for today. It is time to milk the cows. If you are interested, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.