Birth Days

Birth days are a big deal. October is a HUGE birthday month in this family! Both grandmothers (and on the same day, no less!), a couple of aunts, and my son to mention a few. This is all quickly followed by Miss Autumn. Who, as we said in the last post, will turn 18 this year.

And if you read the last post, you know there's something big in store for her! Something that looks a bit like this...

And if you've read any of the other recent posts, you know this DEFINITELY feels like the cart before the horse! It's time to have a place on our place where this girl can keep her animals. Yes, there is a farm next door where she learns from her grandpa and grows by the day. It's great, and it is also a crutch. We need to see what she is made of - if she has the dedication to take this on and care for her animals day in, day out. Of course she will have help, but she deserves to test her wings and see what she is capable of.

And if it works for her, might it have the potential to help others like her in a variety of ways?
We think so.

And the barn needs to be the barn of old again. I've told you there is a senior gentleman that also finds this an important mission. What is the thing that grounds you? Where is your base? What brings you peace and comfort? For him, I think our barn does many of those things. He wants to see it restored, and because of him, there is a sense of urgency around this project that there never was before.

SO - as we continue to look for grants and I continue to draft my book (that part probably doesn't make sense - hang tight - it will in time) - we may start a gofundme account. We're hoping to talk to some friends with financial knowledge and experience with these types of campaigns before diving in.

Another Brown Swiss Calf,
because there's no such thing as too much cute!

The husband and I are unsettled about this step. It feels like begging. It feels like it has the potential to take advantage of friends and loved ones. At the very least, it feels like we might guilt trip people whose money would be better spent taking care of themselves and their loved ones than furthering our cause.

We don't want that.

The upshot is, it could unite people with similar passions to our cause. Historic restorations are environmentally conscious things to do! People might want to contribute just because they will have a hand in restoring a piece of the past. People might want to contribute because truly, they just don't make anything like they used to. This is worth saving as a testament of things that were built to stand the test of time.

People might want to contribute because our special needs friends deserve a shot at living to their true potential. They deserve freedom and independence: as much as can safely be afforded them. In school jargon, we talk about LRE: Least Restrictive Environment. So perhaps people will want to contribute because our girl deserves that chance.

People might want to contribute because they understand or can empathize with the crush of responsibility the parent of a special needs child feels to somehow ensure that their child will be safe, well-cared for, and financially secure all of their days. LONG after their parents have departed the earth. That's a scary one for people whose entire savings goes directly to school and property taxes Every. Single. Year. That's the one that wakes you up in the dead of night. That's what makes you contemplate things that force you to set your ego aside and do things that you wouldn't have in any other possible storyline that could have been your life.

People might want to join this cause because there is magic in bringing the past to life for our community of advanced citizens. It's a tangible statement to their worth: a living legacy to their lives and contributions to our world as it stands today. THIS matters, and so do they! The idea of a nonagenarian getting to see a piece of his childhood returning to its former glory? That might make you set aside your pride and do some crazy things too!

So that's where we are. We've gained a contact that can help with a business plan. Gained the support of a skilled builder who can guide the project. Now we need to talk about gofundme.

What would you do?

Hiatus

/hīˈādəs/

Learn to pronounce

noun

a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process.
"there was a brief hiatus in the war with France"

1. 
   

   Last week, an unintended hiatus in the writing progress happened. Didn't even make it a month before Life Interruptus decided to run naked and screaming while banging cymbals through my routine! Life Interruptus can be a real pain. It can also be really fun. Thankfully, the wild child brought good things.

   
   

   Except the update that put my laptop, and my writing on pause. 

   
   

   Actually, it was more the evening events happening that put my writing on pause. That and my lack of determination to come home and WRITE the 30 minutes every night that I intended! When discipline decides to get into a competition with sleep, sleep is going to win. Unless the Anxiety trump card gets thrown - and honestly, it did! But what that amounted to was 2AM laundry detail. 

   
   

   So I took a week off. There are going to be a couple of nights this week I don't see much writing happening either. 

   
   

   The great news is, there are still things to share. Still progress being made.

   
   

   Not barn progress per se, but things that maybe will get to live in the barn someday progress. 

   
   

   *****WARNING***** PLEASE READ NO FURTHER IF YOU CANNOT KEEP A SECRET****

   
   

   You see, I have a kiddo turning 18 next month. 

   Yes, EIGHTEEN. Every parent will tell you their kid is not like any other kid. Every parent will tell you their kid is special. Mine is too. She's not going to college. We're not sure what the future holds for her. There's one thing we know:

   The girl LOVES cows. 

   
   

   She says "cows are my spirit animal." Good thing she was born to a family that is still connected to farm, right? 

   
   

   She was born to a family that has registered Holsteins. She loves them!

   And she also loves Brown Swiss.

   Oh Me Too!

   Except, I've never owned a Brown Swiss. Never even considered that one. 

   My girl on the other hand... She's considered owning a Brown Swiss. A couple of years ago, my girl decided one day, she was GOING to own a Brown Swiss. 

   
   

   SO, for my soon-to-be 18-year-old, who will not have me wringing my hands over helping her fund tuition, there will be a Brown Swiss Calf. The Good Lord Willing and all goes well, she will be a show calf and the beginning of my girl's very own Brown Swiss cow family. My dad is the cattleman in our little tribe. My girl is incredibly lucky to have him invested in this journey, and ready to help her with trying to develop her own Brown Swiss cow family. I love their relationship and am greatly looking forward to being in the back seat on their journey. 

   
   

   My girl is also an alternate dairy princess for our county. She's excited her grandpa is taking her to an event this week. She said "I get grandpa all to myself! I'm his partner in crime." 

   
   

   Sometimes she says things like that, and when she walks away I just look up and breathe "thank you." 

   
   

   My dad is for my girl what his mom was for me... the greatest blessing in life. Everyone should get to have someone like that.

   
   

   So for those of you who know her and have shared links about cow cuddling... know that still whirls in my mind. Those of you who know her know what cows and farm have done for her. Those in the therapy fields who know her understand that there may be no better therapy on earth than FARM. 

   
   

   It's time you also know there is a vision here that sees us one day sharing the opportunities my girl has had with other humans - especially the ones that aren't like others - the ones that are special. 

   
   

   The writing will come back. Last week, we were living. The spice for the writing is in the living. 

This Old Barn

The funny thing is, it isn't as if this old barn is something I just became aware of. If you haven't been here, you may not be aware that I live on the homestead that my grandma was raised on. You may not  know that as a child, I assumed this would be my place: the giant old house that once stood here and that I used to sneak into when vacant to play and daydream, would be where I lived.

Sadly, the house was deemed in ill-repair and used as a controlled burned for our local fire department the day (seriously, like as I was leaving) I left to attend college in Wilmington, Ohio. The flames of my dream ignited my rearview mirror, as tears washed my face, but failed to clear the vision from my mind even after six hours of trying. At the time, I thought that was the final indication that I wasn't meant to live in New York.

Imagine the moment when, 13 years later, my husband asked if I would like to move home. In the first place, the man is a diehard Buckeye! I couldn't imagine he would ever want to live in New York again (he had for a year or two - it wasn't magical). I weighed carefully... yeah, no. Not really. I didn't weigh ALL of my options. Not the ones I should have. I thought about our parents and who at the time seemed better able to travel to see us. I did warn that the taxes would be insane, the cost of living higher... Yet we packed up a giant U-Haul, our little girl and baby boy, and headed east.

My younger self had never told my husband about the plot that would eventually become our home. He had a few other locations in mind - but there was none of that! Older self really wishes I had taken a little bit of time to explain why I bought five acres in exactly NONE of the places he hoped for.

But that was MY house that went up in flames all of those years ago. In my heart it was, at least. And if I couldn't have grandma's house, then at least I could have the ground she'd played on.

And of course, the barn is still here. In that barn lies my mission - maybe OUR mission. Because ultimately, this old barn may be about more than me and my husband. It IS about more than me and my husband. It's about more than our now-young woman and her dreams. It may even be about more than a beloved senior gentleman, his memories and HIS dream!

All will be revealed. For now, it's enough to know that it's time to save this old barn. We'll need all the help we can get to accomplish it. Perhaps, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. We'll see. In the meantime, we're reaching out for advice and assistance. Please do share this post if you know of anyone with any experience or interest in barn restoration! If anyone local knows anything about the history of this barn previous to 1930, we'd love to have that information too.

BARN Diva

Chapters.
Chapters are so crazy.
You close one chapter, and head off in some odd direction. You think that last chapter is history. You'll never go back. It will never be the same!
And it won't.
It can't.
Life moves forward. Sometimes it seems to move in circles; but really, we're spiraling into something else.
And it doesn't make sense... until it does.
The Barn Diva of old was in a barn looking out.
The Barn Diva of today is focused on a different barn, and she's looking IN.
She's looking around.
She's thinking. She's positively whirling with creativity and giddy because she's found her story! It's the story she was always meant to write. It's the story that unites old and new. How it turns out is anyone's guess; but you know what?
The world needs this story. You are going to want to be around for the ride.