A Princess Gets a Diva Makeover

Tomorrow will find me giving a presentation on dairy farming to a class of Kindergarteners. WHEW! FLASHBACK! I spent an entire Thanksgiving and spring break doing this, half a lifetime ago.

Those were my days as a county dairy princess. We have touched on this topic here, but I haven't really gone into what a dairy princess does. (Yes, they still exist!) The county princess serves as a public relations figure for the dairy industry. Of course, there are the smile-and-wave, brainless events; but there are also news articles to write, public service announcements to record for local radio, speeches to give and classrooms to educate. As a young about-to-be communications major, this was a year of personal growth for me.

The Kindergarten classes were where some of the best memories were created! This was mainly due to the part about this whole job I really disliked the most: The Getup. Oh, yeah. Because you CANNOT be a princess without a crown and sash! And, as much as I tried to convince my committee otherwise, a skirt or dress was a must. With Pantyhose. OH. CRAP.

My jeans and flannel shirt wept for me... My grandmother wanted to weep too, as I became rather expert at getting out of that costume and into said comfy clothes in the front seat of her car while she was driving, regardless of the locale of the road we were currently traversing! I'm sure that car was pretty interesting to more than a few truck drivers in the lanes beside us that year...

But, the crown, the dress and pretty shoes equal a REAL PRINCESS to a five-year-old. I would sit and tell them the story of "Dairee the Cow" and, inevitably, feel a tiny hand rubbing my "Leggs" encased shin. Then, there were the stories. Anyone who has had the pleasure conversing with a five-year-old knows that for every story you have to share, they have an equal-in-interest, double-in-length story for you!

My grandmother always came to my appearances with me. I'll never forget the one school where a child asked me why the cows behind her house liked to give each other piggy back rides... Poor grandma went white, wondering what my reply would be! That question was immediately followed by a little boy who informed me (and mind you, this was a city school) that his father was also a farmer and milked bulls and dogs and fish.

So tomorrow, this rural classroom will get the princess routine The Diva Way. No crown or sash... I may even be dressed for work as I have to be in the barn 15 minutes after the close of my presentation! The Diva has mom experience The Princess did not have. She knows that the only thing equal to the magic of a crown and sash is the hands-on experience of seeing a real milking machine and holding the equipment a farmer uses to milk a cow. The Diva also knows that little cubes of cheese placed before eager eyes will ensure attentive listeners, and a successful visit.

This one is going to be fun. I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out.