That question was posed to me just this week.
"Will the dishes matter when you are 80?"
Huh! Probably not.
I was late to the barn this week. I've been late to the barn nearly every day this summer. Children rarely have timeliness on their priority lists. However, the child in me still desperately needs the approval of her father, who is also her boss! That child tends to get rather stressed when she is going to be late for work.
So, I was halfway to the barn (already late, mind you) when I hear the cry of my son behind me. His tricycle is stuck, on the other side of the yard, and my daughter and I are leaving him in the dust on our way to the barn. First, I feel the usual swell of frustration rising in my chest.
"Will this matter when you are 80?"
And I stop. What matters more? My dad possibly being angry I am late? Or drying the tears of my little boy?
The anger melted away. I walked back to my son. I smiled and told him "No big deal, we'll get there," and I pulled him and his tricycle all the way to my parent's yard. His tears dried and he talked happily to me all the way there.
We were 15 minutes late. The barn was fine, my dad was fine, the day went on...
... But the Barn Diva grew up a little.
I understand,understand,understand, and I want you to know that you did the right thing. I know firsthand about the approval factor and can appreciate what that feels like, but I will also tell you that taking steps (like you did today) to not let yourself give in to it, is a step in the right direction. What does it hurt your father to wait for you every now and again? Nothing. He's a grown up and he'll get over it. And if not, then it would be his own problem. But we both know that if you would have felt like you let your son down (even tho he'd get over it as well) you would not. And you'd be laying awake in bed tonite replaying it in your head. But you were there for him. Right where you were meant to be. The work is going to be there forever, but our children need our tricycle help for what amounts to a very short period of time. Good for you for knowing what matters.
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