Hiatus

/hīˈādəs/

Learn to pronounce

noun

a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process.
"there was a brief hiatus in the war with France"

1. 
   

   Last week, an unintended hiatus in the writing progress happened. Didn't even make it a month before Life Interruptus decided to run naked and screaming while banging cymbals through my routine! Life Interruptus can be a real pain. It can also be really fun. Thankfully, the wild child brought good things.

   
   

   Except the update that put my laptop, and my writing on pause. 

   
   

   Actually, it was more the evening events happening that put my writing on pause. That and my lack of determination to come home and WRITE the 30 minutes every night that I intended! When discipline decides to get into a competition with sleep, sleep is going to win. Unless the Anxiety trump card gets thrown - and honestly, it did! But what that amounted to was 2AM laundry detail. 

   
   

   So I took a week off. There are going to be a couple of nights this week I don't see much writing happening either. 

   
   

   The great news is, there are still things to share. Still progress being made.

   
   

   Not barn progress per se, but things that maybe will get to live in the barn someday progress. 

   
   

   *****WARNING***** PLEASE READ NO FURTHER IF YOU CANNOT KEEP A SECRET****

   
   

   You see, I have a kiddo turning 18 next month. 

   Yes, EIGHTEEN. Every parent will tell you their kid is not like any other kid. Every parent will tell you their kid is special. Mine is too. She's not going to college. We're not sure what the future holds for her. There's one thing we know:

   The girl LOVES cows. 

   
   

   She says "cows are my spirit animal." Good thing she was born to a family that is still connected to farm, right? 

   
   

   She was born to a family that has registered Holsteins. She loves them!

   And she also loves Brown Swiss.

   Oh Me Too!

   Except, I've never owned a Brown Swiss. Never even considered that one. 

   My girl on the other hand... She's considered owning a Brown Swiss. A couple of years ago, my girl decided one day, she was GOING to own a Brown Swiss. 

   
   

   SO, for my soon-to-be 18-year-old, who will not have me wringing my hands over helping her fund tuition, there will be a Brown Swiss Calf. The Good Lord Willing and all goes well, she will be a show calf and the beginning of my girl's very own Brown Swiss cow family. My dad is the cattleman in our little tribe. My girl is incredibly lucky to have him invested in this journey, and ready to help her with trying to develop her own Brown Swiss cow family. I love their relationship and am greatly looking forward to being in the back seat on their journey. 

   
   

   My girl is also an alternate dairy princess for our county. She's excited her grandpa is taking her to an event this week. She said "I get grandpa all to myself! I'm his partner in crime." 

   
   

   Sometimes she says things like that, and when she walks away I just look up and breathe "thank you." 

   
   

   My dad is for my girl what his mom was for me... the greatest blessing in life. Everyone should get to have someone like that.

   
   

   So for those of you who know her and have shared links about cow cuddling... know that still whirls in my mind. Those of you who know her know what cows and farm have done for her. Those in the therapy fields who know her understand that there may be no better therapy on earth than FARM. 

   
   

   It's time you also know there is a vision here that sees us one day sharing the opportunities my girl has had with other humans - especially the ones that aren't like others - the ones that are special. 

   
   

   The writing will come back. Last week, we were living. The spice for the writing is in the living. 

This Old Barn

The funny thing is, it isn't as if this old barn is something I just became aware of. If you haven't been here, you may not be aware that I live on the homestead that my grandma was raised on. You may not  know that as a child, I assumed this would be my place: the giant old house that once stood here and that I used to sneak into when vacant to play and daydream, would be where I lived.

Sadly, the house was deemed in ill-repair and used as a controlled burned for our local fire department the day (seriously, like as I was leaving) I left to attend college in Wilmington, Ohio. The flames of my dream ignited my rearview mirror, as tears washed my face, but failed to clear the vision from my mind even after six hours of trying. At the time, I thought that was the final indication that I wasn't meant to live in New York.

Imagine the moment when, 13 years later, my husband asked if I would like to move home. In the first place, the man is a diehard Buckeye! I couldn't imagine he would ever want to live in New York again (he had for a year or two - it wasn't magical). I weighed carefully... yeah, no. Not really. I didn't weigh ALL of my options. Not the ones I should have. I thought about our parents and who at the time seemed better able to travel to see us. I did warn that the taxes would be insane, the cost of living higher... Yet we packed up a giant U-Haul, our little girl and baby boy, and headed east.

My younger self had never told my husband about the plot that would eventually become our home. He had a few other locations in mind - but there was none of that! Older self really wishes I had taken a little bit of time to explain why I bought five acres in exactly NONE of the places he hoped for.

But that was MY house that went up in flames all of those years ago. In my heart it was, at least. And if I couldn't have grandma's house, then at least I could have the ground she'd played on.

And of course, the barn is still here. In that barn lies my mission - maybe OUR mission. Because ultimately, this old barn may be about more than me and my husband. It IS about more than me and my husband. It's about more than our now-young woman and her dreams. It may even be about more than a beloved senior gentleman, his memories and HIS dream!

All will be revealed. For now, it's enough to know that it's time to save this old barn. We'll need all the help we can get to accomplish it. Perhaps, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. We'll see. In the meantime, we're reaching out for advice and assistance. Please do share this post if you know of anyone with any experience or interest in barn restoration! If anyone local knows anything about the history of this barn previous to 1930, we'd love to have that information too.

BARN Diva

Chapters.
Chapters are so crazy.
You close one chapter, and head off in some odd direction. You think that last chapter is history. You'll never go back. It will never be the same!
And it won't.
It can't.
Life moves forward. Sometimes it seems to move in circles; but really, we're spiraling into something else.
And it doesn't make sense... until it does.
The Barn Diva of old was in a barn looking out.
The Barn Diva of today is focused on a different barn, and she's looking IN.
She's looking around.
She's thinking. She's positively whirling with creativity and giddy because she's found her story! It's the story she was always meant to write. It's the story that unites old and new. How it turns out is anyone's guess; but you know what?
The world needs this story. You are going to want to be around for the ride.

Of Farming, Fairs and Fair Views...

A Note from the Diva:

Though I no longer am milking cows, the farm will always be a place my heart resides. I miss this blog dearly! However, I am a bit out of the loop with the daily dairy dealings, so I have asked a dear friend of mine to step in and guest blog for me. I got to slip back into my boots a time or two last week and help out while my family managed their exhibit at our county fair, so I am thrilled that my friend Valerie has shared this post today about the value of this always memorable summer event. Enjoy, and thanks, Val! 

Many thanks to my former 4-H cohort and friend, Heather Gregory, for asking me to guest author a post in Diary of a Barn Diva. It is a privilege and honor to be here!

As I write this, I am coming down from the annual high of the Chautauqua County Fair.

I’ve heard it said that there are two kinds of people that grow up on a farm; those who can’t wait to leave and those who never leave. My sister is definitely in the former group. My mother used to joke that when my sister was a kid she’d say, “What? There’s a train leaving? When? Where’s it going?” She now happily resides and thrives in the suburbs of Chicago. The three brothers never ventured very far away. Two of them make their living from family dairy farms and the other raises heifers. I guess I fall somewhere in-between the two categories. I left, but did I really leave?

I can’t be positive, but I don’t think I’ve missed a single Chautauqua County Fair in my 41 years. By the time I was born, my oldest brother was in 4-H and I just assume that I was brought to the fair as an infant/toddler. What I know for sure is that I have not missed a single fair since I was nine years old, the youngest age at which one may join 4-H. The 4-H program is definitely part of what molded me into the person I am today, hence my intrinsic need to return to the fair every year since I “graduated” the program *gasp* 23 years ago.

Peace and Belonging

Twenty-three years has brought a lot of experiences, some good, some … not so good. College, marriage, work as a herdsman, divorce, employment in the biotech industry, lay-off, employment in the pharmaceutical industry, rounding back into the dairy industry, re-marriage. All through this journey, the farm stayed near and dear to my heart. While working at the pharmaceutical, I was given an amazing opportunity to spend a month in Switzerland to help at a facility there. After two weeks, I decided that I would always regret it if I didn’t make a trip to see the Swiss Alps. I ventured off alone on a two hour drive in a country where I spoke none of the three native languages. As beautiful as the countryside was and as much as I was enjoying the opportunity to be there, I was homesick. When I’m homesick, I don’t mean homesick for the house in which I happen to reside, I mean I’m homesick for the farm; the place where my heart is always filled with a certain sense of peace and belonging. 

After about an hour and a half, I stopped at an overlook to take a picture of the breathtaking mountains in front of me. I was steadying my camera when I heard a faint ringing. I lowered my camera and scanned the horizon, trying to determine what the sound was. And then I saw them. A whole herd of Brown Swiss cattle, all of them with cow bells on. It was the most amazing sound. In that moment, I was filled with joy and there was one person that I couldn’t wait to call and tell about my experience – Dad. I later drove directly past that herd of cattle and stopped, got out and pet one of the cows. She was the happy recipient of a good scratching behind the ears and I was the contented recipient of cow odor on my hands. My boss would later say, “Valerie, you’re the only person I know who we send 4,000 miles away on business and you end up finding farm animals.”

My Brown (and Swiss Native!) Bovine Friend

These days my employment keeps me a bit more in touch with my roots as I work in Quality Assurance at a milk facility. I’ve found a nice balance. I love that I know some of the milk truck drivers from my previous life on the farm and that I know what goes into producing quality raw milk.  I also love the technical and regulatory aspect of what goes into making milk products for grocery shelves. I am the resident “dairy farm expert.” Of the current population in the United States, less than 1% claim farming as an occupation and about 2% actually live on farms. Using that factoid and knowing that there are approximately 315 employees at my current place of employment, that means about six people at my work grew up on a farm. My boss is originally from Brooklyn. He’s a great guy with a lot of knowledge, but when he was on vacation and drove past a field of “Oreo Cookie Cows,” he excitedly called me and wanted to know what they were. (For those of you scratching your head and wondering what an Oreo Cookie Cow is, look up the Dutch Belted).

Every year I take at least two days of vacation to spend at the fair. Each year as I drive there, my heart starts pounding faster as I near the thruway exit that will lead to a most magical place filled with memories of hard work, bonding with others, winning some, losing some, harmless pranks and falling in love for the first time. The years melt away as I pick up a pitch fork and hoist manure into a wheelbarrow. Ah, yes. That is what a vacation should be.

So now you know for sure that the saying is true. You can take the girl off the farm, but you can’t take the farm out of the girl. 

Share It, Baby!

Take it from me and Cookie Monster, don't forget the skim milk!

Boosting Fluid Milk Consumption in Ten Words or Less...

Image by Bob.Fornal via Flickr

Mint Oreos and milk... Just sayin'...

The Diva Left the Barn... The Barn Hasn't Left the Diva

I've had precious little reason to mention my passion for yoga in this blog. Writing has been a key component to my personal journey of self-exploration, once the kids took off on their personal adventures in elementary school, yoga has been the other. I worship on the altar of body-with-breath, and in that mental space, my mind quiets and the spirit comes to me. I have faith in things I cannot see and before this phase of my life, barely could bring myself to believe in. Faith has been a really rocky road for me, though so many of my friends and family are so unshakable in theirs... the tragedies of life pulled me far, far away from mine.

Yoga has brought me many good things. A refined focus on life, a clearer mind and, though it has been another rocky road, a much happier home for my spirit to reside - in both structural senses.

Recently, yoga brought me an incredible job offer.

I now work from home for Namaste TV I get to do yoga and write about it for a living! When the whole thing was in progress, I was in this land of 'Wow! I can't believe they even thought of me for this! How nice! What an honor!' My position had not yet been created. If you know anything about the ever-intricate land of Corporate-ville, creating a position can be a longer process than the life cycle of a tortoise.

You can imagine my mental status when, just about a week after the idea was entertained, I had a job offer... I nearly required a loader tractor to lift my jaw off the floor!

We're in an adjustment phase now; but really, I am living a dream! The kids go to school and I am in yoga land... doing it, breathing it, learning more, writing about it. What a thrill!

To make room for this thrill, I had to let go of my post at the farm though. I thought I'd miss the cows more. I do miss the hours of mingling and moving with and through the cows (except when the movement is kicking), I miss the air (isn't that hard to believe? It's true!) I miss the people I milked with. But I LOVE this work! It's working out for the family as well, as I am home, showered and ready to tackle homework (and often dinner is already in progress!) by the time the kids get off the bus.

I mentioned we're in an adjustment phase... oh, yes, we are.

Farm income was weekly. Freelance income is monthly. Therefore, we have a few weeks of unavailable income to get through. So I am revisiting something I rather enjoyed before I returned to the barn... being a "Frugal Gourmet".

The kitchen may as well be a science lab as I use the most basic ingredients to make things you wouldn't think could be made at home. Laundry detergent, anyone? Yup, you can (and many thanks to some great gal-pals who shared that little tidbit!) Homemade granola and caramel corn, like my grandmother used to make and I LOVED! Today (and the reason for the blog entry) it's homemade coffee creamer.

This is so easy it is sad. I had to share. I can't tell you how many times in the last few years I have run to the store SOLELY for coffee creamer. Not doing that again! The first recipe I ever used came from Frugalvillage

1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1 1/2 Cups Skim Milk

You can flavor with these:
Chocolate Almond: 1 Tbsp. cocoa powder, 1 tsp almond extract
Vanilla: 2 tsp. vanilla extract
Cappuccino: 1 tsp. almond extract, 1/2 tsp. orange extract (GOOD Stuff!)
Strudel: 1 TBSP cinnamon, 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1 tsp. almond extract
Chocolate Raspberry: 2 tsp. cocoa powder, 2 Tbsp. Raspberry syrup

Measure all into a 32. oz. container (with cover) seal and shake. You can store in the 'fridge for up to two weeks.

Today, I got adventurous and made my own recipe. I mixed 24 oz. Fat-free half & half with 1 Tbsp cocoa powder and 3 Tbsp. Hazelnut syrup. The powder didn't mix into the cold half & half so great, so next time I will probably add some homemade chocolate syrup (my next project for the day) It stirred into my coffee just fine though.

So there you go. I haven't posted in months; but the Barn Diva is still around. Out of the barn and onto the mat... but never out of the dairy! Make sure you show the gals in the barn (and your body!) some love and get your proper servings too!